Bob Awards by Bob Ryan

Prior to the BOB award show …some other more serious Cardinal spring training observations and  thoughts…that is……as if sports is EVER serious?

…Mike Leake looked terrific in 1st outing…but….if you watch the clip….almost all of the swings & miss …and there were many….were pitches out of the strike zone….I would think that hitters in mid-season will lay off of those type of pitches.

…..I think that Trevor Rosenthal will start the season as our “bridge” man…i.e. get us from starter (6th inning or so) to mid-8th or 9th inning.  A guy who does that could really “save” the bullpen.…without getting any “saves”

…I guess it was Senior Citizens Day on Thursday in Florida…the Cards started Adam Wainwright (35 years old, 134 wins) vs Bartolo Colon (43 years old, 233 wins)….I would have never guessed that Colon has 99 MORE wins than Wainwright! Our home-town perspective often blinds us.

….I’m just saying…Tommy Pham will be 29 when the season opens….isn’t it time to find a younger backup for the OF? Tommy hit .226 last year and struggles against RHP. The Cards thinking has always been to keep “younger” guys in minors to increase their game experience.. which is a sound idea…but when you’ve hit 25 and ur still taking bus rides in the minors…you aren’t going to be a MLB star..by younger…I mean 24-25ish …that’s the type of guy that I’m thinking should be our OF backup

….despite all the raving about Sandy Alcatara….possibly except for multiple injuries to starting pitchers in Florida, he has a very slim chance of sticking with the club…at least at the start of the season (see below…the info on becoming arbitration eligible)

……They talk about it all the time…but it’s still very hazy….at least to me….Here’s the real scoop on when MLB’ers become eligible for arbitration…it’s based on service time. Service time is, very simply, a running count of how long you’ve been on a a major league roster(or the DL)…not how many games you’ve played.

 

  • 172 service days = 1 service year–Players max out at 172 service days/year; seasons usually have 183 service days
  • Players needs six full years of service to reach free agency
  • Players need about 2.130 years of service to reach arbitration or 366 days of being on MLB roster…so…if I’m concerned about player A becoming eligible too early….I keep him down in minors…bring him up in June/july/Sept—make it 98 days. Do the same the following year so you have burned 196 days ..that leaves you 170 days…for the 3rd year (note a year maxes out at 172 days)..gain yourself another year prior to eligibility that’s why they fly these guys up a day prior to game…and then put him on the  roster the day he pitches…save those days!!!

 

 

It’s time for the BOB Award…the BEST Of Ball or in some cases—the BUMMERS Of Ball!  You’ll have no trouble distinguishing one from the other. Some…maybe many … the tongue in cheek policy has been employed…here goes the Bob Awards and the 1st presenter is Steve Harvey.

Steve Harvey, “It’s a pleasure being here for the prestigious BOB awards. I’m hoping that the teleprompter’s work better than the 2016 Miss America Pagent! Let’s start…so far ..so good

 

“The Winner of the The Steady-Eddie Performer of Cards is Stephen Piscotty.  Piscotty had 153 games, 649 plate appearances, hit .273, OPS of .800, 22HR, 85 RBI and steaks of all kind were limited…..that’s right, we didn’t need him streaking

 

“The winner of the Titanic Award for being the biggest disappointment in 2016 is…..Jason Heyward!” Of course, the Cardinal fans smirked the entire season of his batting average while the Cubs fans bit their lip as Hayward hit .230, just 7 HR, 93 strikeouts with 122 hits.. that strikeout to hit ratio is similar to many that I’ve coached in grade school baseball

 

Steve chuckles as he says, “ Here’s a good one…the prize for Where size matters Award…this should be good…..oh…. oh… really…..and the winner is the NHL.. it’s there that the  gigantic cities who can generate more local money have a distinct advantage over mid-size cites.. clearly the lack of huge national TV contract is a decisive factor in this wide discrepancy between large vs mid-size or small

 

“The Winner of the Pinocchio Award is……..Kevin Shattenkirk who infers  that Parayko and Pietrangelo would be expanding their games and ever-so-slightly  moving him out of key roles….cut it out….it was money….huge money pure and simple…that’s OK….I’d probably do the same but don’t concoct other reasons.  Congratulations Kevin…well…I made it…” said Steve Harvey as he exited quickly…..but wait 2 minutes later…Harvey returned, head down

“ I’m so sorry folks..it happened again….the real winner of the Pinocchio Award for 2016 goes to N. Korea. After losing 2-0 to Germany in Womens’ world Cup a few years ago, N. Korean Coach Kim Kwang-Min said his players were tired because they’d been hit by lightning at training match. Really??   Folks….this one takes the cake….and I’m exiting stage left”  Steve Harvey departs wiping the egg off his face again.  Bob Ryan will now present some awards without any quotes

 

The winner of the Budweiser Award for aging overnight is Brett Favre…when I look at him now, he looks old..real old to me…but he played as recently in the NFL in 2010! Makes one wonder if the NFL players agree to let the ol’ QB who has faced many blitzes in their day get a break from the pass rush late in their career?

 

The winner of the Rex Hudler Fans Award for 2017…is Greg Garcia …the winner of this award generally is white….does not play too often and really not  too well…. has a good week about once every 2 months…. usually it means he can sacrifice bunt, runs out ground balls, seldom strikes out, makes few errors, signs autographs willingly, smiles.

 

The winner of the Pink-Bunny Award for continuing to “keep ticking” is Yadi Molina…Yadi claims he’s 34 ….he’s been in the MLB since 2004, he’s played 1611 games but last  year’s totals of  .307, 147 games (most ever), 581 plate appearances (most ever), 164 hits (most ever) makes us believe that he’s ticking along..and along…and along….and along

 

The winner of the Judge & Jury Award goes to Rick Pitino….last year when Louisville was caught red-handed in violations, Judge Rick Pitino, whose club was much weaker than normal, “accepted” not going to the NCAA tourney for THAT year…so that he’d be eligible THIS year (when his team was better)…what did he really lose?

 

The winner of the Jethro Bodine(Beverly Hillbillies) Award for mental ability—Draymond Green(Warriors) after many  of his “smart” statements to the press reveal  a shallow side to him…mostly above the shoulders….but….let’s be positive…Green is a great athlete, period.

 

A final presenter will be Warren Beatty. Right off the Oscars, Warren is attempting to rescue his name for the totally inept Oscars performance……here’s Warren…”thank you, thank you (did you notice that everyone says thank you twice in the media?)…now to more awards.”

 

“The winner for the most over-rated sports fans is…as he tears open the envelope…he looks around and says hesitantly, “Is this some type of joke?   The answer here is “La-La Land”..no worries Warren ..just continue, you’re doing just fine…it IS the correct answer….why?….sure LA has millions and millions of people but what % are real fans….heck…we can all follow, support, brag about winners…is that being a real “fan”…go ahead Warren….is this case…La-La Land WAS the correct answer.

 

Warren continues with more poise now, “The winner of the “Best job in the MLB or any sports” ….and the winner is Eugene Koo. Warren proudly exits stage right, head held high, his signature smile flashing across his face. Koo is the translator of Seung Hwan Oh….let’s see… he’s used on the mound about once a month and is a personal assistant for OH the remaining time….he travels around the USA, has time to sight-see, visit, hang-out while the company picks up his tab..or his boss does….seems like a good choice….but wait  Warren is trudging back with his head down…..Beatty looks up, “It’s wrong….wrong again…how could it be? …again….anyway the winner is Bob Ryan”…how could you beat this “job”! I’m very lucky to have this opportunity. Thanks for making it to the end of BOB Awards Show

 

Comments

  1. Tom Beauchamp says:

    Good stuff!!!

Speak Your Mind

*