Down Yellow Brick Road to NGL – by Bob Ryan

yellow brick roadThere they were…..the three of them moving down the beautiful Gold Brick Road on their way to the NGL. As they walked along….here’s how the conversation transpired between the Black Horse named Stan, the Lion named Roger and the Owl named ASK…

 

…Stan-Well, I’m really happy….I mean really happy that we’re finally moving down this road Rog..you played it like a fiddle…

 

…Rog-It was easy Stan…just like following the script to a play…you’ve had it in the works for 5 years..you really started the ball rolling with the hiring of what’s his name….that ol’ coach that has about as much coaching ability as I do…hah, hah…anyway…he’s been through the moving stuff so he has experience in moving merchandise, smiling, talking the game …as if he really knew it… as they are moved to LA

 

….Stan…well you did your part Rog…..encouraging those fools to form their own committee to build a stadium…ya knew we were NEVER going to build it….I was surprised my ur cleverness Rog since your full name of Roger Dumbnall seems to indicate that ur family wasn’t blessed with much upstairs…ya know…nothing personal…..I’m never personal…it’s all about money…that’s why I can’t wait to get to the NGL

 

Rog….yea….it was fun watching those StL fools work to reach an goal that was continually being changed by us…hah, hah, hah…then dragging the Governor into it…boy they were driving with blinders on weren’t they?

 

..ASK…excuse me Mr. Dumbnall….wasn’t the goal to get a new stadium?

 

….Stan….boy u don’t get it….it had to be in LA….they could build the Taj Mahal in StL and I wasn’t going to stay….I need that big bucks

 

…ASK…excuse me Mr Stan…what is your last name?

 

…Stan..I don’t tell many people Owl but it’s “Satan”….I’m a double “S” guy…Stan Satan….

 

..Rog…that’s funny Stan…I saw the SS and thought it meant Silent Sam and ur sure were quiet for what 4 years….how’d u keep it under wraps

 

….Stan….only my closest associates knew my intentions anyway…this new stadium will have everything….studios for the TV boys, offices for the NGL, shops, entertainment …ya know for the men….of course it’ll have a terrific outward appearance and a state-of-the-art stadium…funny, the way things go round & round…the Romans had their state-of –art stadium…filled with food, games, brothels, ….what was it called….oh yeah…the Colisseum..funny…that’s the name of the stadium that I’m replacing too….kinda aprapo…wouldn’t ya say?

 

….ASK…didn’t Mr. Jones have a state-of-the-art stadium that was built 5 years ago…how long does it keep that title? Who’s that jackass down the road?…oh good…it’s Jerry…

 

….Stan….Hey Jerry, Jerry…hold on there….(Jerry slows down)…Jerry…thx for ur help with those old guys on the what was it called….stadium recommendation committee….those old guys just don’t get it….we’re out to make money….not some of the time but ALL the time and make it to the max

 

…Jerry…Yea Stan & Rog….I had to twist arms..I mean twist wallets actually….by the time I got to all of the other owners, each had an additional “bonus”…if ya know what I mean…

 

…Stan…ya know Jerry….those common folks don’t get it….they actually get attached to these teams…they live “through” them….don’t they get it’s a business….and….ur in a business to make money…not yell & cheer, wear jerseys, drink beer & eat hot dogs on parking lots

 

…Jerry….absolutely…but….we have to keep them attached…somehow…someway…we promote all that fantasy stuff to keep all “involved”each week even if they have a bad team…all that other stuff keeps the poor suckers coming to games even when we don’t win the games…

 

….Rog…but we all know …we could care less who wins….

 

…ASK…don’t you feel like you betrayed the StL’ers?

 

…Stan…really?   How could that be?   Don’t they understand it’s all about money…we’ll move whenever, wherever to make money….I can’t help those dummies who live and die for a game…what kinda life do they have anyway? I live for money..what else is there?

 

…Rog…I could help but laugh Stan on ur statement that you were a victim…that was great!

 

…Stan…thx Rog….well I was a victim….I could have missed out on doubling my franchise…and some yokels were trying to keep me in this city that peaked with the 1904 Worlds Fair…

 

…Jerry…right…lets move on….StL is a thing of the past…unless ur scared by the “nasty” letter from the Mayor….oooohhhh….it’s scary…hah, hah, hah, hah

 

…ASK…hey Mr. Black Horse….do u like being part of the StL vocabulary now?

 

…SS…whatta mean?

 

…..Rog…u haven’t heard….when the folks in the StL previously got upset and used foul language they’d say,”_ _ _ _” you…now I hear they say “ Get kroneked” or “Kroneke YOU”..made your last name into a verb !

 

…ASK…aren’t their other areas of concern?

 

…Stan…the only real concern is making more money….sure…that concussion stuff and “fixed” games by the officials will blow over…we’ll make it “move on” just like we did to LA..thx goodness we get something back from our spin doctors…but those guys are worth the money though

 

….Rog…well boys…there it is….the NGL headquarters….it’s beautiful isn’t it? Gold roads, gold bricks, gold everything….it’s GREAT!

 

…Jerry…hey Mr. ASK…my turn to ask a question…what does NGL stand for anyway…

 

…ASK…that’s easy Mr Jackass…National Greedy League.

Comments

  1. John Rocco says:

    Bob, thanks for the chuckles!!! John

  2. Gaylerd Quigley says:

    You nailed it Bob. Kroenke is one greedy SOB and he never gave a damn about St Louis or having a team here.

  3. Jim Pleimann says:

    I wish I never had to read another word about this relocation, Kroenke or Goodell. Rams are gone end of story. Move on. They are gone. I won’t see another team here in my lifetime and that is a shame- but life will easily go on. This franchise is awful. I will be interested in how well they draw if they go 15-65 again or whatever it was……

  4. Larry Eveker says:

    Thanks Bob
    I enjoy reading all of your blogs.
    Keep them coming.

  5. Well done Bob.

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