Wheel of Fortune by Bob Ryan

wheel

 The Wheel of Fortune has been a TV staple for years..decades…they’ve tried some new wrinkes….now they are trying a new one…it’s Sports Wheel of Fortune…enjoy Pat Sayso and Vana Paisley as they have sports celebrities spinning the Wheel of Fortune…

 Here’s our 1st contestant…Kolton Wong…he spins the wheel…..great Kolton! You’ve won a month of bus rides to enjoy the scenic beauty of Tennessee, Arkansas and other marvelous areas in the boondocks that one enjoys on a motorcoach. Enjoy first hand all the bounces, stops, late hours, bad music that ur teammates are playing as ur trying to sleep and of course that great diet of suways & burgers! Congratulations Kolton Wong!

…our next player…Tony Cruz….Tony spins the wheel and wins a “You’ll play Everyday” Card…congrats Tony! You’ll really enjoy playing every day for Omaha of the AAA league…it’s a beautiful town and far enough away from the big league cities that you’ll forget all about them..and they’ll forget about you. Congratulations Tony!

…our next guest has just relocated in LA, we welcome Mr. Stan Kroneke to Sports Wheel of Fortune…take a spin Mr. Kroneke…oh…folks…Mr Kroneke has designated Mr. Kevin Demoff to take care of all of his duties…..there it goes……it’s landing on the Mr. Roger Goodell Award space… you’ve won this award for your integrity, honesty, forthright and direct press releases, your willingness to work with the St. Louis community, your clear intentions, and just being a wonderful citizen…congratulations Mr. Stan Kroneke

…our next guest is the jockey of Nyquist, Mario Gutierrez, spin it please….great…you’ve won a rail…congratulations Mr. Gutierrez since you couldn’t seem to find the rail in the Preakness… so you’ll now have one of your own…Congratulations Mario Gutierrez !

….spinning next is Trevor Rosenthal….boy…that’s a long spin…you’ve got plenty left in that arm….and you win….a chess set!   Trevor you’ll be able to fill in all that boring time in the bullpen by playing chess in those one-sided wins or loses…and as a bonus… you can challenge Manifesto for playing time…Congratulations Trevor Rosenthal!

…joining us now is Blues Free Agent David Backus….welcome David….grab the wheel and give it a spin…..there it goes….and it’s stopping on the Mime of the year Award….David you’re very fortunate…you’ve been able…without saying a word …to express to the Blues and St Louis your intentions about remaining in the Lou….of couse, the “For Sale” sign in your front yard may have given us a few clues….Thank You David and Good Luck wherever you go !

…our next competitor is from Brazil…please welcome Dilma Rousseff, the President of Brazil to our Sports Wheel of Fortune…now your excellency, take the wheel and give it a good spin.. there you go….oh…it’s come to a sudden halt….well, well…you’ve won the Bill Clinton Award, Congratulations Madam President …that’s a great award since you’ve been impeached by the Chamber of Deputies and suspended for six months…just long enough to miss all of the Olympics presentations, ceremonies and all of it…Madam…You’ll never forget this award!

…our next player is the young, talented RH of the Cardinals, Carlos Martinez..welcome.. there’s the strong spin of Carlos….it’s still going….and…it’s stopping on the Bill Veeck Award for Baseball’s Mavericks…folks, this is a prestigious award…Mr. Veeck accomplished or tried many new ideas in baseball…just to name a few…put in the ivy and scoreboard in Chicago in 1937, integrated the AL when he signed Larry Doby in Cleveland, portable fences (that moved as different batters were in the batters box), batted a midget, CWS wearing shorts, Harry Caray singing “take me out to the ballgame” and more…well.. Mr. Martinez you’re innovative contribution to baseball is throwing a cup of water on a teammate in the dugout after he’s circled the bases with a HR…congratulations Mr. Carlos Martinez

…our next player..is retired and brings with him all types of interest….meet Dick Allen…Mr. Allen, you broke in with the Phillies and played there 7 years followed by a year with the Cardinals (1970) and hit 34 HR and 101 rbi’s while missing most of September (as he usually did in his career—horses)…take your spin….Congratulations Mr. Allen…you’ve won the ol’ fashioned hard plastic Philadelphia Philly batting helmet…congratulations…now you may keep it… We know that you felt that you had to wear it at Philly because the fans boo’d you and threw bottles at you so you wore the helmet IN THE FIELD….now you can wear it all the time! Congratulations to one of the most prolific power hitters ….. Mr. Dick Allen!

….our next participant is Jared Goff….ur spin…Jared ..you’ve won the #1 pick for the LA Rams.. congratulations, you’ll now be following in the huge footprints of other Rams QB of recent vintage—Case Keenum, Nick Foles, Shaun Hill, Austin Davis, AJ Feeley, Kellen Clemens, Kyle Boller, Keith Null, Brock Berlin…those are really some shoes to fill and with the same coach … it’ll be more of the same…congratulations Jared Goff !

….spinning next will be Ruben Tejada…there it goes….where does it stop….Ruben you’ve won the quickest year of your life award… Ruben…your Cardinal year started on March 19 of this year with a one-year contract….that contract came to an abrupt end on May 28 when you were released….no one in history has experienced a year in two months and you’ll never do it again…congratulations Ruben Tejada

…we welcome now the General Manager of the Atlanta Braves John Coppolella, … take your spin……ohhh….this spin can to an abrupt halt….you’ve won the “Washington Generals Award”…..congratulations!   Of course the Generals played the Harlem Globetrotters for years..and still do….you know of their success….and ..well, Mr. Coppolella you have the Atlanta Braves moving down the same road as the Generals….Congratulations!

…coming to us now is Andrew McCuthen (Pitt)…your spin is firm..as it comes to a stop…you’ve won the Samson Award…. Removing your dreadlocks this year has taken you from a career .295 hitter to a .245 slap hitter…Congratulations or whatever !!

…our next guest is the NFL Commissioner, Mr. Roger Goodell…welcome Mr. Goodell…well sir take the Wheel and give it a good spin….there it goes….it’s stopping on the Stan Kroneke Award space…. Congratulations …you’ve won this award for your integrity, honesty, forthright and direct press releases, your willingness to work with the St. Louis community, your clear intentions, and just being a wonderful citizen…Congratulations Mr. Roger Goodell !

….welcome our next guest, Jose Bautista… there he goes spinning the wheel of fortune….it’s still spinning but slowing….there it is…you’ve won the George Chuvalo Award(Best Boxing Chin Award) for your performance against Rougned Odor when you took a full, roundhouse hook right to your chin and you didn’t blink, didn’t buckle, didn’t budge, actually punched back…feebly… but at least you “came back”. Congratulations Mr. Bautista !

…Here’s our next guest…Mr. Kim Anderson (Mizzou Men Bball Coach)…there’s the spin….well this is a new one…you’ve won The Captain Bligh Survivor Award…Mr. Anderson has survived the changing of two long-time, key Mizzou coaches..but he goes on! Congratulations

….welcome now to our guest, Bob Ryan…..Bob give it a whirl…..it’sslllowwwinnngg down…. Bob you’ve landed on “The End”….This Pat Sayso & Vana Paisley saying –Thanks for joining us on the “Sports Wheel of Fortune”!

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