Blue Santa by Bob Ryan

Santa was in a predicament…he had so many orders In StL for Blues shirts, jerseys, souvenirs, etc….he decided to have a special “run” just for St Louis and who better than Craig Berube to replace Santa on that “run” using a sled rented from Enterprise. Soooo, he made arrangements with Enterprise Reindeer Carriers and it was all set.

First of all some training was in order prior to the special StL Christmas delivery run. Berube was instructed that he may only use “stop”, “jump”, “deer”, and “fast” as his only 4-letter words while driving the sled—NO  others. He couldn’t drop off gifts and replace them 90 seconds later only to replace them again in another 90 seconds. Neither could he permit Fighting between his helpers –which was absolutely forbidden.  With those succinct instructions, dressed in Blue and with new set of reindeers named:  Jordan, Vladimir, Colton, Ryan, Jaden, Alexander, Ivan  and their leader, Alex.  Berube was ready to begin his historic “run” through the Lou….

….Blue Santa first delivered a clubhouse gift which was taken to Mgr Shildt’s office…a Cardinal hat about 2 sizes smaller than he wore last year (when we couldn’t ever see his face while wearing it)

 …Next Blue Santa delivered a simple set of “code breakers” for Yadi. Use a sign to indicate WHICH sign is the “Live one”.  The 1st sign doesn’t have to be the only sign given to pitchers…with or w/o runners.

…Delivering a book entitled “Contact for ALL” was delivered to the StL Cards batting coach after the Cards struck out 48 times in the 4 game series against Washington.

….a gift was delivered to the bullpen…a remake, of sorts, of Paul Anka’s 1956 hit, “Put Your (Head) Hand on My Shoulder” was delivered to Mike Maddux

…still in the Cards clubhouse, Blue Santa delivered the “Most Unappreciated 30 HR player” Award to Paul DeJong. Further DeJong played in 159 games….reliable SS are hard to find.

….Yet another gift in the Cards Clubhouse, Blue Santa next delivered a “resurgence” package to Paul Goldschmidt. Goldy had his lowest– batting average, # of walks, OBP, slugging percentage in the last 5 years in 2019. IN this case “resurgence” doesn’t mean that Santa was delivering drugs!!

…Santa flew quickly a few blocks to the Enterprise Center (home of the Blues & Bills). He delivered a Free Throw Shooting Manual and a guarantee of 10 free hours of shooting FT in the Chaifetz Arena to Hasahn French who’s 35.3 FT % (18 of 51) really is unacceptable at the collegiate level.

…while still @ the Chaifetz, Berube presented Coach Ford with…”Best 19-20 Game Yet” for the play against Auburn (9-0). Beating so-so & bad teams doesn’t compare to competing, albeit losing 67-61, against a team that is only one of five unbeaten teams at this point.

…on the other side of the Enterprise Center, Santa tried finding that big “S” that Jordan Bennington wore on his chest last year…..but….couldn’t find it..and had to move on

… Vladimir Tarasenko received the Superman Award for his unbelievable 20 points (10 goals, 10 assists) for his high powered scoring in the 28 day span (Jan 23-Feb 19) that the Blues leaped from  a seemingly hopeless position to 1st place with a 11 game winning streak. In that stretch the Blues went 493 minutes and 42 seconds without trailing in any game!!

…Chris Gerber received the Prepcasts Sportsman of the Year Award for his willingness to share the biggest moments of his career on the microphone with Dan Kelly. He permitted Kelly to do all the 2nd periods of each of the  Stanley Cup Final round games.

…Blues also received the Award for the completely changing the mode of “Victory Parades” in the Lou. Despite their wobbly legs, slurred speech,  & maybe impaired vision, they hopped on & off the floats to greet fans, have pics with them, shook hands and seemed to truly enjoy with interaction with the fan while treasuring the moment. It REALLY changed the scope and approach of any future championship parades in the Lou

….Leaving the Enterprise Center, The “quickest Start” Award was snatched “on the fly” by new MU Coach Eliah Drinkwitz who…seemingly within hours… was visiting key prospects in the Lou for MU football.

….A “Gold Star” Award for Drew Lock…who now being given a chance in Denver…is showing poise, leadership, strong arm and “swag” as a professional….Congrats to him for his start!!

…Blue Santa didn’t know where to deliver the package marked “Bright Yellow Neon Shirt Sleeves” ….apparently for Marcel Ozuna…who I believe wore them either a) to be individualistic b) aggravate the Birds Brass c) maybe both. Marcel’s off-season work..or lack of it…along with a defense that kept all fans/mgmt on the edge of their seats….and an arm that seemed more suited to throwing horseshoes…not a professional MLB OF….doomed him at the Lou…btw…Marcel stopped wearing his “gold” look in early spring…by the time that “look”  returned in August….I think it was Ozuna sending a signal…not to subtle…to the Cards management…I’m not wearing YOUR color this year….or next year. However, $$$ does talk.

…Blue Santa, turned around and returned to Busch to deliver the “Amnesia Pills” which will be administered by the Cards to their entire 2019 post-season roster to wipe out any memories of the Washington NLCS series. Btw…all of the Cards bats from the Nats Series were sold as new bats….hadn’t been used…not much contact had been made vs Wash!

…While there, Berube quickly dropped off a surprise Gift @ Busch, the “New Face of the Franchise” Plaque will be awarded to Jack Flaherty. The award finally moves on after Yadier Molina, Matt Carpenter, and Adam Wainwright have controlled it for the last 10+ years.

Suddenly….almost accidently……Blue Santa found a new, somewhat hidden button on the sled. It sent him into super, hypersonic-like speed around the world….so  Craig Berube … thought…. hey, what the heck….let’s make more sports guys happy…..

…the first stop was in Wrigley Field….there Blue Santa dropped off an “empty Cupboard”.. it was a true symbol of the 2020 Cubs roster.

….In Washington, Stephen Strasburg received Blue Santa’s next gift….it was an “Ol’ School” patch….since Strasburg had signed with his original team and it appears that he’ll spend his entire career there.

.…An “atta Boy” hurrah was delivered to Fayetteville, Arkansas for Barry Odom. Coach Odom gets a fresh start and one would think that all Mizzou fans wish him well.

…With that delivery, our Blue Santa flew off into the horizon.  If you know of any other Santa Gifts that were delivered or want to comment on these gifts….just send me an email, post on FB or send to Prepcasts. Wishing all of you a Merry Christmas!

Comments

  1. Another very cleverly written blog. I so much enjoy reading your stuff! JD

Speak Your Mind

*

three × two =